Mangled movie titles

I sometimes rent two or three movies in one weekend. That has its drawbacks. I keep thinking I’ve watched just one movie with a long name:

  • Mulan Rouge
  • Chinatown without Pity
  • The King and I, Robot
  • Peter Pan: About A Boy
  • The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Betty
  • Seeing Other People: High Fidelity
  • The Barbarian Invasions : Breakin’ All The Rules
  • The Incredible Hulk: Anger Management
  • The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey To The Centre Of The Earth
  • Rosemary’s Baby: What To Expect When You’re Expecting
  • Mean Girls: The Ladykillers
  • Super Size Me: Walking Tall
  • Laws of Attraction: Love Actually
  • Mystic River: Big Fish
  • Uptown Girls: Cheaper by the Dozen
  • Hellboy: Big Animal
  • Runaway Jury: Chicken Run
  • Driving Miss Daisy Out of Africa
  • Gone with the Wind in the Willows
  • The Fly Unzipped
  • My Big Fat Greek Wedding Planner
  • Dirty Harry Potter
  • Air Force One Hour Photo
  • Phone Booth : Talk to Her
  • What a Girl Wants : A Man Apart
  • What a Girl Wants : Talk to Her
  • Head of State : Bringing Down the House
  • Boat Trip : Russian Ark
  • Space Station : View from the Top
  • Spirited Away : The Good Thief
  • The Quiet American : Anger Management
  • The Hulk : Anger Management
  • Nowhere in Africa : Better Luck Tomorrow
  • The Fugitive : Unforgiven
  • Kangaroo Jack : Catch Me If You Can
  • Catch Me If You Can: The Hunted
  • Assassination Tango : Dancer in the Dark
  • Shanghai Knights Bowling for Columbine
  • Just Married : Viva Las Vegas
  • Final Destination 2 : Sweet Home Alabama
  • Biker Boys : Gangs of New York
  • Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Bulletproof Monk
  • Darkness Falls : Lost in La Mancha
  • Confessions of a Dangerous Mind : Analyze That
  • My Big Fat Greek Wedding : A Man Apart : Adaptation
  • 25th Hour : Die Another Day
  • Die Another Day: 28 Days Later
  • Two Weeks Notice : Friday After Next
  • Half Past Dead Ringers
  • Witches of Eastwick: Spellbound
  • Grand Theft Auto Focus
  • Far From Heaven’s Gate
  • Undisputed Possession
  • 20,000 Leagues Beneath the Sea: The Little Mermaid Finding Nemo
  • Freaky Friday After Next
  • Chinatown: Hollywood Homicide
  • The Silk Road to Perdition
  • 8 Crazy Boogie Nights
  • The Straight Story: About A Boy
  • Speed 2: The Fast Runner
  • 8 Mile : The Fast Runner
  • Hannibal: The Taste of Others
  • Perfect Storm: A Mighty Wind
  • Once Upon a Time in the West We Were Soldiers
  • 40 Days and 40 Nights In the Bedroom
  • The Time Machine: Return to Neverland
  • The Shipping News: Cast Away
  • Thelma and Louise: No Man’s Land
  • Down from the Mountain: A Walk to Remember
  • With a Friend Like Harry, O Brother, Where Art Thou?
  • Deconstructing Harry Potter
  • The Unbearable Lightness of Being John Malkovich
  • Saving Private Von Ryan’s Express
  • Air Force One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
  • American Beauty and the Beast
  • Live and Let Die Hard
  • You Only Live Twice in a Lifetime
  • Fat Girl, Interrupted
  • Who’ll Stop The Rainman?
  • Two Can Play That Game Of Death
  • The Citizen Kane Mutiny
  • Guess Who’s Coming To My Dinner With Andre?
  • The Mummy Returns To The Planet Of The Apes
  • It Happened One Night Of The Living Dead
  • Apocalypse Now: Kingdom Come
  • Ghost World: John Carpenter’s Ghosts of Mars
  • The Mummy Returns, With a Friend Like Harry
  • Backdraft: The Charcoal People
  • Dr. Dolittle 2: Along Came a Spider
  • Michael: Meet Joe Black: Angel Eyes
  • America’s Sweethearts: Beyond Suspicion
  • Sling Blade: A Close Shave
  • Election: American History X
  • Crocodile Gandhi
  • Dirty Dances With Wolves
  • The Insider: Being John Malkovich
  • Pee Wee’s Big Adventures in Babysitting
  • The Hunt for Red October Sky
  • When Dirty Harry Met Sally
  • The Full Monty Python and the Holy Grail
  • Star Trek II: The Grapes of the Wrath of Khan
  • Young Naked Guns
  • Three Men and Rosemary’s Baby
  • Zorro, the Gay Blade Runner
  • 2001 Dalmatians
  • Smokey and the Time Bandits
  • The Creature from the Blue Lagoon
  • Terminators of Endearment
  • Godzilla Must Be Crazy
  • It’s a Wonderful Lifeboat
  • 9 1/2 Weeks on Golden Pond
  • E.T. and Sympathy
  • My Fair Lady Sings the Blues
  • Born Free Willy
  • How Green Was My Valley Girl

From a July 2004 contest in the Globe & Mail newspaper:

  • Is Paris Burning Breakfast at Tiffany’s? (M.Penner)
  • The Sixth Sense and Sensibility (C. Hurst)
  • The Man Who Would Be King Kong (C. Kelk)
  • Huckleberry Finnegan’s Wake (K. DeLuca)
  • Father of the Bride of Frankenstein (F. Farr)
  • 1984 Charing Cross Road (B. Weide)

From another contest in the Globe & Mail newspaper:

  • Gone with the Wind in the Willows (Alanna Little)
  • Raging Bull Durham (Sandy Lemm)
  • The King and I Can Get It for You Wholesale (Fred Farr)
  • Dr. Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf (Brenda Weide)
  • Green Eggs and Hamlet (Nigel Bunce)
  • Gentle Ben Hur (Leslie McKillop)

Casting problems

Why didn’t we ever see …

  • George Burns in “Backdraft”
  • Lazarus in “You Only Live Twice”
  • Nicholas Cage in “The Great Escape”
  • Tom Cruise in “Titanic” or “The Poseidon Adventure”
  • Brad Pitt in “The Abyss”
  • George Raft in “Kon-Tiki”
  • Robin Williams and Walter Pidgeon in “The Birdman of Alcatraz”
  • Diana Rigg in “The Gambler” or “The Sting”
  • Jimmy Cliff in “Cliffhanger”
  • Theda Bara in “The Stripper”
  • Sigmund Freud in “What Dreams Are Made Of”
  • Alec Guinness and Wallace Beery in “Strange Brew”
  • Cher in “Alive!”
  • Ralph Fiennes in “Crime Doesn’t Pay”
  • The Baldwin brothers in “Hair”

Except as noted these are all originals by Tim and Graham Hicks, and Jamie Kupka (which doesn’t mean others haven’t thought of them too).

p.s. All joking aside – if you like fun in movies and you haven’t seen the movie "The Princess Bride," rush out now and rent it. It’s funny, intelligent, and dramatic. Music by Mark Knopfler, an interesting part for Andre the Giant, a swordfight that made the Top 100 Movie Moments list – and watch for Mandy Patinkin’s great climactic line: you’ll cheer.